Archive for the ‘General’ Category

“Change Orientation”

I recently had a comment posted on one of my blogs that suggested that the author would love to capture some of the thoughts that they have in a blog similar to ours.  The reason that this has not come to pass was because of procrastination.  Procrastination has much to do with “change resistance”.  It has been a safe position to take and one of least resistance.  Overcoming procrastination has to do with orienting the self to change.

Change orientation is that skill of awareness that gauges the contentment or discontent one has for their present state of living.  If one is not satisfied with their life then change orientation would then propel a person forward with prescriptive plans for change.  If a person has the answer but ultimately falls short on application, then resistance is the mindset. 

Individuals will often live out their lives in a misery that they know, rather than change in the lives for something that they do not know.  In this case “fear of the unknown” is the rationalization with which procrastination also thrives.  Change orientation is to educate yourself through truth seeking which will then challenge your ignorance. An ignorance that one may have once thought were valid reasons to accept complacency.  By empowering change to become a vehicle for calibrating the awareness for growth through truth, the inevitable then follows – growth itself. 

Stay truthful my friends…

We Value You

Dr. Lawrence Kohlberg first used the concept of legitimate authority when describing moral development and ultimately decision making skills.  “Legitimate Authority” is a concept that I use to understand the decision making process of most people.  What the concept basically means is that some people make decisions based on what people might think of them, rather than on the principle of the situation. 

This is especially the case in young adults as they seem to give into peer pressure situations and in some cases tend to make very poor decisions.  Legitimate authority decision making is also based on the concept that people make decisions based on what people think, but they can choose for themselves which people are important to them, thus legitimate authorities in their lives. 

The legitimate authority concept then develops, after a period of trial and error, into a core value of decision making based on  the principle of the situation because  one begins to see themselves as the “legitimate authority”.   The better one gets at making CONSISTENTLY good choices the more confident they become in the authority that they have given themselves (positive self concept). 

We value the input of our patrons, inspectors and team and in the end we view all of these as sources of legitimate authority because you matter.  However, when it comes to making concrete decisions about our product many of the decisions that we make are based in principle carried over to give you as “legitimate authorities” the best that we can.

Internal Distraction Modes

Goal attainment of all forms are more easily attained when general distractions  to the goal are limited.  Distractions are often direct goal blockers.  However, when we think of distractions we often make the assumption that these are variables outside of ourselves.  Variables that can detach motive and commitment can often come from within.  The internal distraction mode is what I call it.

Internal distraction modes are those variables that are born of  the element of FEAR.  Perceived FEAR  that runs amuck affects the internal drive typically by internal voice dialogue.  Negative self talk coupled with the notion of playing it safe can often unhinge momentum in goal pusuit.  Momentum is then stalled and we often see complete goal abandonment  or  in milder forms the evolution of procrastination.

The internal Distraction mode can be overcome first by tuning into the reality of the fear element and distinguishing whether it is a perceived fear vs a real fear.  Awareness of the internal voice dialogue  theme can help understand the amount of negativity in your self judgments.  Gaining ground on this insight will help in redirecting dialogue and ultimate judgement.  When this occurs then you can begin practicing impeccability to yourself which will lessen the burden of percieved fear and release the internal distraction mode.  

Sounds complicated but it really isn’t  –  let’s just say that you have to be completely honest with yourself when you set goals.;  then , don’t become a distraction to the goal.

Peace Truth and Love…



A traumatic experience resulting in some form of suffering at the hands of someone else is typically the birth of grievance.  Grievance becomes so strong in an individual that has been “done wrong” that one becomes fixed on retaliation.  

Bitterness becomes a reoccurring theme and revenge becomes the negative motivation for living.  With this perceptive base the past becomes your present and power to the negative emotion is enhanced.

The fallout from the negative emotions prompted by the past gives rise to depressed states of thinking, feeling and acting.  The downhearted individual is unable to gain momentum and the footing for growth.  The lack of leverage to move in a positive direction is typically blamed on the original transgression, which becomes the cyclic recipe for life.  How sad this becomes…

Forgiveness is a truthful means to the end resulting in peace.  The Buddha once said, “holding on to anger is like picking up a hot coal with the intent of hurling it at someone else; you are the one that gets burned in the process.” Forgiveness allows us the fortitude to leave the burning coals behind, thus securing the footing for living in a energy of peace.  There is seldom seen an act of bravery such as the act of forgiveness. Forgiveness is an act of strength, not a gesture of weakness as the ego would make one believe.   Replacing Fear with Forgiveness is an act of courage leading to the strengthening of integrity.  Integrity is the glue that holds morality together ans is an expression of love.

Forgive today and let the healing begin…

Secondary GAINS

Human motivation is a curious study indeed.  From genuine motives to motives camouflaged as sincere and honest. 

 Ulterior motives are at the root of most human interactions, rather than the morality of the transaction at hand.  The value of the gain seems to set the strength of the motivation.  

Nowadays, the problem seems to be in searching for the genuineness of the transaction which introduces doubt and suspicion, which  is the antithesis of trust.  Ulterior motives are called “Secondary Gains”.

“Secondary Gains” describes a highly motivated state of an individual, not for the transaction at hand, but from what can be gained by the said transaction.  It enlists the WIIIFM mentation- “What Is In It for Me”. 

Secondary gains can be described as simply as a teenagers “rare hug” motivated by the possibility of being able to go to a party.  The hopeful means to and end is to treat dad with love and respect so that one can get what they want out of the act.  Of course, this is not a genuine interpersonal transaction based on empathy, love or respect, but rather a selfish “egoic” act. 

Secondary gains can also be as complex as remaining in a marriage for economic reason, but to disguise it as love for your mate.  Secondary gain transactions seem to be the most common means of interpersonal relations these days,making the emotion of trust difficult to comprehend.  EGOIC thoughts and an internal voice dialogue of inconsideration for others can give rise to an fixed ungenerous outlook.  But this will only go so far before others perception of you becomes that of self serving.  At that point, people can trust that you can not be trusted. 

Attempting to disallow the secondary gain strategy can be a difficult task, but if successful then truth becomes your ally.  When truth becomes a means to end then peace becomes the force behind all transactions.

Peace, Love and Truth to all…

Make Room for What Matters

Ever open your refrigerator and notice several jars of items that you have not used in over a year?  There might be an extra jar of jam, or an extra jar of salad dressing that didn’t really agree with you after you bought it.  In some instances the refrigerator gets so cluttered with these types of items that it makes it difficult to stuff new items into it.  So you shuffle things around trying to make space for the items that you just purchased. 

The routine begins by shuffling from one shelf to another in a random order with no real goal other than to shove the newly purchased groceries into the remaining space. There is no prioritization, there is no real organization, it can be quite chaotic if one was just aware.  There is no concept of letting go of the non-essentials to make room for the essentials.  We will go to the extent of allowing the nonessential items to spoil before we recognize that they can be discarded.  Sometimes the non-essentials become a threat to the essential items because the spoilage can transfer over to the new stuff.  It goes on for a long time before something gives in and it is usually the entire refrigerator.  The entire space…

This is exactly how many of us live our lives.  There are so many different thoughts that are non-essential to our lives, but we hold on to them like a jar of unused salad dressing. 

There are also relationships that are non-essential that we are programmed to believe we need to hold on to but are truly not good for us. We spend energy and time on these relationships that go nowhere and then have no time to dedicate to the essential relationships that deserve our attention. 

Both you and your refrigerator need an honest inventory of essential vs. nonessential items.  When you make room for the essentials then you can truly understand how important these items are to the significance of living.  A positive strategy for living is to let go of the non-essentials in your life and dedicate more time to seeking out and nurturing the essentials in your life.  I can assure you that life gets more easily managed and admiration for what is then created is truly witnessed. Create your life, get rid of the clutter and embrace what matters…


I have received some emails that sought more information on the issue of drive strength and commitment ethic that I mention in a previous blog post.  I think it appropriate to first define these concepts.  Drive strength and commitment ethic are emotional intelligence skills that are primarily defined as a self management skill.  

Drive strength defines an individuals internal motivation.  Commitment ethic defines an individuals follow through on goals identified. Managing the self in the truest sense is extremely difficult because it entails verification of  reality vs lying to yourself. 

Often times people establish goals with a true drive to reach the goals but often end up faltering along the way because of commitment ethic issues.  Often times, the goal setter does not take into consideration the variation of commitment  at different stages in the pursuit of the goal.  Rationalization is the typical strategy when momentum is slowed at these points.

Again, distortion of truth seems to be the easiest way to deal with these junctions in goal pursuit.  Typically, unparalleled commitment ethic to covetous drive strength kills the goal and again rationalization and excuse formation ensue.  This becomes a cyclical mindset which ends in a defective self esteem.  People  tend to try to overcompensate for this type esteem formation with more lies, boasting, egoic thinking etc.  But this is another blog post altogether.

The answer is to be truthful to your self management parameter.  Drive strength and commitment ethic must be parallel.  Having more commitment ethic than drive will eventually balance in pulling the drive strength forward and the reverse is to stall goal attainment.

Pursue truth in all things…

The Duel of Duality – Two Wolves, A Native American Interpretation

I often write about fear and love, the  Ego and real self,  in attempt to bring to thought the duel of the duality that most human beings face.  A very dear friend of mine directed my attention to the following Native American Interpretation.  I think that it is dead on in many respects.  However, I will spend time in future blogs defining how to move past the duel.  But for now…  Thanks Elva!

 TWO WOLVES                                 
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. 

He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

     “One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed,     
  arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, 
                           superiority, and ego.                           

   “The other is God – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility,   
kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.” 

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:
                             “Which wolf wins?”

            The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

There have been an array of positive comments regarding the color scheme and design of our website.  Below are the gentlemen responsible for such a popular web design. 

Mr. Tim Grahl and Joseph Hinson have been working with me for almost a year now and these guys really know their web design business.  

    Look Mr. Grahl and his team  up today.  As for the blog I take care of that on my own.

Do Good Now



This statement is often heard and seems almost cliché. But a wise man once responded to the statement this way, “If you do GOOD in all that you to do, then you don’t have to worry about taking care…”  

“Taking care” would mean to focus yourself on avoiding choices that would cause harm to you or others – to make choices with spiritual, physical, emotional and intellectual consequences.  Always making good choices takes practice and is certainly a difficult task, but,  it is possible. 

By being good you certainly resonate an attending quality of love,  thus setting into motion the conditions for internal truth flowing in the direction of peace to all people that you encounter. But most importantly, unto yourself.   In all situations, when we do good or at least aspire to do good, we cannot go wrong with this outlook.  I believe this is what is meant by “Take care”.

So the statement ”Take Care” might be more clearly stated with something like, “Do Good Now”…  

Thank you Dean…